Labradoodle

Labradoodle!
It’s such a noodle name
for any sort of dog.
A dog that’s neither Labrador nor Poodle,

a bitser this and that, for sure.
Purists will quickly point out,
the muttiness factor of the dawg.
They hold their noses way up high

to extend their view of down,
they pontificate on colours,
size and necessary standards,
ending up with quite a frown,

but I don’t care for such things

you couldn’t get a cuter dog
then the dandy Labradoodle
(my bias is showing, I have two I call my own)
and mutts they’re not to me.

They are a woolly combination
of both silly poodleness
and labrador loyalty,

intelligence (a modicum, enough to get them by)
and sloppy, lovingness in spades,

they might not frighten burglars
or sniff out contraband
but they’ll love you as their leader
and follow your commands.

Well that’s the theory!

Jamie Oliver’s Best Friends on the Menu

chef

Breakfast

Cream softens up bitter coffee
while bacon sizzles with eggs over easy.

Lunch

Beer battered fish cosies up to chunky chips,
reading the latest news, undercover, waiting

for salt and vinegar to cut in, with their usual
acerbic wit and biting analysis of current affairs.

Afternoon Tea

Cream takes the edge off the tart
strawberries, creating quite a stir.

Dinner

Will you be a lamb and pass me
the salt and pepper, said Rosemary,
my spaghetti and meatballs
are in need of a little seasoning.

Tomato and basil were side dished,
despite their fresh faced exuberance,
but made a colourful display.

After Dinner

Red wine with cheese platter,
having a natter.

 

 

Trainee Cyber Security Analyst

imager

This is such a great job opportunity for people with Autism/Aspergers with a head for computers. The following information is from Hewlett Packard Enterprise):

______________________

Hewlett Packard Enterprise (Dandelion Program) Trainee Cyber Security Analyst
Job Opportunities in Canberra

Hewlett Packard Enterprise (HPE) is one of the world’s largest and most successful IT companies. We know that our people and values are the most important elements in this success. We invest in your personal growth and development in an environment where you will be supported.

HPE’s Dandelion Program is recruiting people from the Autism Spectrum to be trained and work in the area of cyber security based in Canberra.

Successful applicants will perform work for the Australian Federal Government Department of Defence. Applications are requested to fill these trainee cyber security roles.

As a level one Cyber Security Analyst you will be part of the HPE Cyber Security Team and will be trained to perform simple, medium and up to complex cyber security activities as assigned by the HPE Dandelion Team Cyber Security Lead.

These roles will suit people with an interest in computer programming, networking and complex data analysis.

 

Successful candidates will start by learning and performing key skills required to work in the Department of Defence Cyber Security Team.  He/she will also undergo training over time to be able to perform other more complex cyber security related tasks.
The candidate:
  • Must have a diagnosis of ASD
  • Must be aged 18 years or over
  • Must have Australian Citizenship
  • Will have to satisfy the requirements of Department of Defence Baseline and Negative Vetting 1 security checks
  • Must be able to attend the entire 4 week assessment phase, which is paid
  • Should live within an easy daily commutable distance of HMAS Harman in Canberra, ACT

Holding a tertiary qualification in a technical or business area is desirable, but not a prerequisite. If there is some experience in skills such as computer programming, data analysis, networking, network security, system administration, or similar IT oriented tasks, this would be highly regarded. The person must have a strong interest in learning and performing IT related tasks.

This is a great opportunity to become a part of a forward-thinking team with a commitment to providing high quality and innovative services, apply today.

To find out more information about the method of applying and the recruitment process and timelines for this great opportunity, please Click Here

 

Answers without Questions (Me)

DSC_3461 (2)

virtue?

man at harmony with himself,
man with inner steel,
man with reverence for women,

woman with a funny bone,
woman with compassion,
woman with an ear for the music.

I have flexibility,
like a sloth, I adapt to branch structure,
as long as I can get enough sleep
within the chaos of this zoo, called life.

Friends are best loyal and honest
(though a sprinkling of white lies
can be like hundreds and thousands on buttered bread).

I have a main(s) fault but I’m waiting
for the plumber to come and fix it
boom, boom
he’s very handy is my plumber
Handy Andy is his name;
I married a plumber,
a plumber I married,
a beer plumber he turned out to be,
now that’s what I call handy.

My favourite occupation
would be to jam in syncopation,
with musos of all persuasions
and be paid for my deliverations.

harmony, peace, shalom,
serenity
freedom from strife

Were they happy days
when my children were born?
No
They were transcendental!

Misery is an everyday
inconsolable, prisoner of insoluble despair,
sitting on the couch with the curtains closed
waiting for the lights to go out

If I was not myself
I would be Stephen Fry,
without the fame
without the dangly bits,
I would be Stephanie Fry!

I would like to live
on the side of a mountain
in a self-sustainable commune,
but, without the hard work.

Red (with blue undertones)
is the tempered fighter in my soul,
the favoured one in the spectrum.

I love a tulip
cool and collected
bloom.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s
The Little Prince
superbe story
for me.

Homer, Shakespeare
(if that is who they really are)
poetic genii

My mind is in the state
of misty disarray,
dysphoria and joy.

Toleration I do have
for many faults and failings
but dipsomania is the one
that leads the pack,
taking all considerations.

If my children were possessions,
the most treasured possession they would be
but we don’t own our offspring
so photos of my children, it must be.

My greatest extravagance
is a piano I bought in advance
of learning to play
the damn thing in a way
that makes others long to sing and dance.

If I had a secret indulgence
and you asked me what it was
I would happily respond
That’s for me to know and you to find out.

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The Bell Curve

 

BellCurve

The Bell Curve

I am yet to meet a normal person,

a person who is balanced and dancing
in the middle of all bell curves,

so today I am declaring that

I’m at variance with variance,
of the flat paper variety.

Despite what the doctor says,
bell curve normality
is a statistical anomaly
that could use a restrictive diet.

Do you know what happens when bell curves
meet for a drink on Friday night?
They merge salubrious-ly into 3d,

beer goggles aside,

spheres emerge, octopus like
with endless slender legs,
radiating

then

morphing into flesh and blood
human beings.

ps.
I retain the right to retract my variance
on meeting a normal person.

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Just in case you don’t know, the bell curve is the statistical normal distribution and variance is the measure of variation from the mean of the distribution. Those who vary too far from the mean are considered far from normal 😉