Chook-Induced Anxiety (CIA)

Chook-Induced Anxiety (CIA)

Pompadour the Chinese Silkie chicken

Chook-Induced Anxiety (CIA)

Such a tranquil scene. Gorgeous chooks cluck lovingly while recycling scraps into free range eggs. Think again! Those magazines are not telling you the full story.

Yes, chooks are the latest accessory for ethically aware, suburban greenies. They can also reduce the weekly shopping bill. However, beware that getting chickens can result in Chook-Induced Anxiety (CIA).

I will now outline the steps that can trigger symptoms of CIA.

Preparation for chook ownership

Magazines say chook ownership is a piece of cake. It is easy if you can afford a prefabricated deluxe chook house, if you have a handy husband or if you’re not fussed about chicken comfort and casualties. Note – coop must be ready before chickens arrive.

Cute, fluffy chicks arrive

Yes, they are adorable and children spend hours squeezing them! They are also safe and warm inside a cosy brooder box.

Chooks move to the big house

Handy hubby has finished putting together Fort Knox style coop. Only two months late! Note to chooks – apologies for temporary ‘caged chicken’ status. Chooks love the big house but they also love dust baths – everyday. A wire floored coop is not conducive to dust bathing and free ranging chickens elevates my heart rate terribly. The anxiety is starting to rise.

Necessary extensions

Wow, this chook thing is expensive. I wonder when those savings begin to kick in? Now dear, do you think you could build a fence around the coop so my lovelies can dust bath? What do you think about a sunshade? Can we fence the whole backyard? Yes dear.

Rooster removal

Now for the big ticket item – rooster removal. I don’t recall reading in glossy magazines about the top 5 ways to remove roosters. What do you do when the crowing begins and neighbours start complaining? Quick – find someone who wants your roosters. Easier said than done as my chooks are ‘not for the pot’. This is a job for where you have soft hearted people called ‘fluffy feather’ and ‘featherdusters’ just waiting to rescue your roosters.

‘LittleRedHenHouse’ finally gets a response and roosters are saved. At last a sleep in.

Egg laying

But where are the eggs? Oh well, at least my darlings are safe and sound. I’m sure the egg laying will begin soon. Then I can start worrying about broody hens. I’m wondering if this CIA is worth it?

The End


Note: This is a reposting of an article I wrote ages ago. It is all true – I do suffer from Chook-Induced Anxiety disorder, also known as CIA.

I first posted it on the ABC POOL and it was slected by ABC Radio National’s Country Viewpoint (Bush Telegraph) program staff for recording on the 7/7/2009.  Unfortunately they made me read it myself and I sounded terrible – a bit like Mickey Mouse on speed 😉 so I won’t let you hear the originally recording.

I did, however,  enjoy going into the radio studio to make the recording – I’ve always wanted to wear cool head gear and talk into a microphone on the radio – haha.

Friday Night from Hell (Audio)

Friday Night from Hell (Audio)

Finally I’ve got the audio sorted!

Last year my poem ‘Friday Night from Hell’, was selected for inclusion on an ABC Radio National 360 program called City Nights. The program was produced by the fabulous Gretchen Miller and aired on September 5th. Actors were employed to recite the poems/short stories and the sound and music was designed to match the narrative. The result was a radio-phonic delight.

I have attached the audio file for my poem. They did a fantastic job and I was as proud as punch. The reason I am posting it now is that I have only just learned how to convert the file format to MP3 (so I can put it on my blog). The original blog post can be found if you follow this link .

This is what a night out in a big city of Australia sounds like (and I’m sure it sounds like that in a lot of other big cities all over the world). I much prefer when other people recite my poetry.

Here is my ‘Friday Night from Hell’:

Friday Night from Hell by Gabrielle Bryden

I have dedicated this poem to all the yobbos out there who should be locked up in their own homes on a friday night.

Radio National My Tribe Showcase

Radio National My Tribe Showcase

If you think I have been writing a bit tribally lately, that may be because I’ve been writing some pieces for Radio National’s My Tribe project.

I was chuffed to find out that my story ‘my blogosphere is a rainbow flavoured ice-cream’ (which I blogged about ages ago here) has been selected for the 360documentaries online Showcase.

My blogosphere has expanded since I wrote this piece and today I would have many other bloggers to include. I would put you all in if I could. Maybe I’ll need to write an updated version.

Here is the Showcase. I have a pseudonym in the ABC  POOL website (which is where you upload My Tribe stuff) and it is GB.

Many people think I’m a male and a frog.

Here is a bit of information about the My Tribe project, from the 360 website.

‘My pack, my posse, my people, my network, my family, my mob. As human beings we are born to relate to each other and hang out together. 360documentaries is developing My Tribe; a public exhibition that explores identity and community – and we want you to contribute.

Call for entries

Tell us about a group of people or community that you belong to or love or identify with. They might be your relatives, your friends, your enemies, live near you or on the other side of the world. Maybe you share a common interest or you’ve been thrown together by happenstance.

Share your story in any form: writing, audio, video, photos or any other medium you like and you’ll be in the running to have it:

* selected for the 360documentaries online Showcase

* broadcast on ABC Radio National’s 360documentaries

* screened at Federation Square in Melbourne

The producer of the best audio piece will also win the chance to work as a freelancer on their own radio documentary with the 360documentaries team.’