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Gabe Feathers McGee

poetry, stories, puffnstuff

pulpit of optimism

learner

An optimist was drinking from a glass half-full, while dispensing unwanted advice from a half-baked motivational book, stating ‘you cannot analyse love, it just is’ with patronising voice. Another optimist turned off the television while proclaiming ‘there’s too much bad news on the telly’ like it’s just on the telly. And yet another optimist sucked down a foul tasting placebo from the placebo shop and stated ‘it must be good for you if it tastes this bad’.

deep breath

Some other deluded optimists were heard to say things like:

the seas can’t rise and the temperature has always been variable,
she’ll be right mate,
I’m sure there’s an explanation for the bruises, we don’t want to upset the parents,
we’ll love each other forever,
he just drinks this much when going through a bad patch, it’s been that sort of year,
I know he killed the cat but he must have had a good reason,
Father O’Riley would never do that!
We have too much legislation, companies will do the right thing,
he’s been brought up well, good kids don’t do drugs,
you can’t go to jail if you’re not guilty,
my grandfather smoked ’till he was 90, never did him no harm.

cough

She smiled with that yellow sunflower type of smile that makes you want to vomit and said ‘I’m a glass half-full kinda person’.

‘Yeah, I wouldn’t drink that shit if I was you,’ said the pessimist in me.

7 thoughts on “pulpit of optimism

Add yours

  1. Oh…this was just full of short stories with endings most optimist would never see coming.

  2. I would not call them optimist…;)

  3. Sometimes we need to look away so we can recharge before looking again. I guess if someone drinks from a glass half full it is soon as empty as if the glass was half empty. Did I say that? Smartarse!
    Cheers, Gabe.

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