What “strikes me” 🙂 is that in all of this I feel that the fire is already part of those things/people and that it is inside them -waiting.
The frost is here so I will think more on this when I light the wood stove in a few hours. Very nice.
If you did not watch Catalyst last night you can see it online. This could be a very bad fire year and the poem evokes that feeling if impending disaster that I hope does not become real for you on your new property!
I’ll have a look. All the signs are for a bad bush fire season – you can feel it in the air. We’ll be fine on our property – grass very short, not many trees, access to water, long way from forest, and a dam to jump in if all else fails. I would have been concerned with some of the other properties we looked at, especially on the river, where there were heaps of trees and undergrowth and high on a hill. One of the things I do worry about it getting caught in a fire as you drive along the roads around here.
Thanks Tracey 🙂 Hopefully there won’t be a sequel near us 😉 but as you know there have already been a few big fires in Qld including near Brisbane at The Gap.
We just finally started having rain and that will last for awhile. I take it you are having some very dry weather right now. A bit tense but a really good write. I do hope no fires come your way. Take Care.
The waiting images are very powerful. Waiting for anything is stressful but for the possibility of fire…it’s a whole different ball game. I hope there aren’t too many fires this year.
Whew! It’s feeling like that down here today – a day of pure madness fuelled by an incendiary heat – hope those youth are in some air conditioned games room and not at a booze-fuelled V8 Supercar rally this weekend. Visceral poem, Gabe.
Hi Gabe – thx, studies went really well, except I ended up having to use another poem as I had to have at least 60 clauses for the SFL analysis, but am hoping to use at least some if your work in my capstone unit next year. Am off to read your latest post – yaay – missed you 😀
aloha Gabrielle – interesting – i took some fireplace photos on my trip and have plans for them. i pop in here (finally) and there you already have the image. bwahahahaha.
interesting too – each of these have the feel of one line ku. they may technically be a little long for that (i’m not sure) but the essence is there and very strong in some cases.
i like these. or this.
i’d have to review one line ku to really attempt it tho:
transition household unpacked boxes the edge of myth
Thanks Rick – they do unintentionally have a ku feel to the lines – I was using a type of rolling dactyl metre to give the hypnotic effect of the heat. ‘transition household unpacked boxes the edge of myth’ – hahaha – that’s very good and a bit too close to the truth – the move has gone pretty well, though we haven’t got most of our furniture yet and are sleeping on blow up mattresses on the floor – haha – but we love the place – feels like heaven 🙂
yeah, “rolling dactyl metre” —this is why i’m reluctant to claim the status “poet”. i have no idea what that means. yes, i can look it up. still. . . . ha.
yeah, i thought that one line ku attempt might ring bells in your now. just breathe and take one box at a time when you get to it. cool on a move that is going “pretty well”. yay for air mattresses on a floor. at least. and way cool on liking the place you are in that well. aloha.
Thanks Rick 🙂 A dactyl is the Dah dah dah rhythm where there is a heavy stress followed by two weaker stresses (or syllables sometimes) or long short short – like the sound of ‘Peter Pan’ or Samoa or Daddario (if your name is pronounced with the emphasis on the first Da). The rolling is my term – as a dactyl metre or other 3 syllable metres can give the effect of rolling like a wave or a slowing down of the sentence. A two syllable metre will make the words sound quicker – da da, da da, da da.
cool, yes, i see. Thank you for the explanation. That makes sense.
yeah, my name gets pronounced in different ways. sometimes the first Da is stressed. sometimes it’s the dar. it has 4 syllables tho. DA-ddar-i-o – or something like that. ha. heck if i know. da-DDAR-i-o
ha! Your name does have four syllables – haha – I missed that – but in poet world it has 3 stresses with the last o being a ‘feminine’ ending, so it doesn’t have to count in the counting – hahaha – aloha
By the way Rick, I rarely use metre systematically but thought I would for this particular poem – I usually focus on natural rhythm which I test by reading out loud. You are definitely a poet and a very good one – you are an aesthete which is a very good quality for a poet 🙂
yeah, i pay more attention to how it sounds (at least in my head but i pronounce things in my head—which is one of the reasons why i’m such a slow reader—it’s just the way i’ve had to do it so i can understand).
i get the idea of paying attention to metre—which makes a lot of sense to me too. it’s the way i speak that i listen to mostly, just as you say.
ha. i’ll take that “aesthetic” label. i like that. and okay, i’ll accept the poet label—because, yeah i want that one too.
thank you. you made my day with that “quality for a poet”. i suspect i may be a philosopher poet. . . . . what ever that is. ha. and bwahahahahaha. as well.
mahalo and aloha and joyous bells ringing on you, your family and the move. . . . . erm. . . . in a soft and gentle way that is. . . .
This is such a succinct picture of the disaster waiting to happen. I know from our Midlands how it only needs ‘that’ time of the year, a particularly dry spell, and just one foolish or malicious person, and the grass, bush, or forest fire will rage.
Gabe Feathers McGee 
Still thinking about that last line…and how to weave it into the initial section of the poem.
hopefully it goes on a full loop – just waiting, no action 😉
What “strikes me” 🙂 is that in all of this I feel that the fire is already part of those things/people and that it is inside them -waiting.
The frost is here so I will think more on this when I light the wood stove in a few hours. Very nice.
thank you 😉 it’s just a matter of time before we get a huge bushfire in Qld unfortunately.
definitely evokes a sinister sense of impending catastrophe
Juliet
http://craftygreenpoet.blogspot.com
Thanks Juliet 🙂
This is such a strong & evocative poem – very powerful. Knifepoint tension.
Thank you kindly Jane 🙂
Drama! it is like life.
Gotta have a bit of drama Benedicte 😉
If you did not watch Catalyst last night you can see it online. This could be a very bad fire year and the poem evokes that feeling if impending disaster that I hope does not become real for you on your new property!
I’ll have a look. All the signs are for a bad bush fire season – you can feel it in the air. We’ll be fine on our property – grass very short, not many trees, access to water, long way from forest, and a dam to jump in if all else fails. I would have been concerned with some of the other properties we looked at, especially on the river, where there were heaps of trees and undergrowth and high on a hill. One of the things I do worry about it getting caught in a fire as you drive along the roads around here.
The signs are bad Gabe, so let’s all hope for a minor miracle, this season. Such an evocative poem!
Thanks Graham 🙂
Love it Gabrielle. You have me poised on the edge of my seat just ‘waiting’ for the tension to unfold.
PS. I’m so very excited about your house move … sorry I’m so behind on your news.
Thanks Tracey 🙂 Hopefully there won’t be a sequel near us 😉 but as you know there have already been a few big fires in Qld including near Brisbane at The Gap.
Gabe, this is one of your best, in my humble opinion. Very cutting and precise. And ominous.
Thanks Nigel – I think it is one of my better ones – it still needs some work but I am happy with the ominosity (think that might be a made up word).
Crackles with static energy, Gabrielle…
That’s good Kate 🙂 don’t suppose you get many wildfires in England (lucky you)
Powerful path of strong images and scary evocative words. Certainly takes one on a walk through the fear! And a comma there too …
yes, the comma says the story hasn’t finished – thanks Aletha 🙂
We just finally started having rain and that will last for awhile. I take it you are having some very dry weather right now. A bit tense but a really good write. I do hope no fires come your way. Take Care.
We have had some rain actually but it only takes a few weeks of dry weather before it is a fire hazard again – thanks Renee 🙂
The waiting images are very powerful. Waiting for anything is stressful but for the possibility of fire…it’s a whole different ball game. I hope there aren’t too many fires this year.
Same here 🙂 There has been quite a bit of rain lately, especially in Sth East Qld – but that just means more undergrowth – can’t win really.
Well crafted poem, Gabrielle. Good read. Thanks. Waves across the cyber and literal oceans.
Thanks 47whitebuffalo and waving back at you 🙂 Sorry for taking so long to get back to your comment – we’ve just moved house!
Whew! It’s feeling like that down here today – a day of pure madness fuelled by an incendiary heat – hope those youth are in some air conditioned games room and not at a booze-fuelled V8 Supercar rally this weekend. Visceral poem, Gabe.
Thanks bluebee 🙂 Hope your studies went well and that you are having a break now – Chrissy just round the corner.
Hi Gabe – thx, studies went really well, except I ended up having to use another poem as I had to have at least 60 clauses for the SFL analysis, but am hoping to use at least some if your work in my capstone unit next year. Am off to read your latest post – yaay – missed you 😀
that’s cool bb – as long as you get a break over Christmas 🙂
aloha Gabrielle – interesting – i took some fireplace photos on my trip and have plans for them. i pop in here (finally) and there you already have the image. bwahahahaha.
interesting too – each of these have the feel of one line ku. they may technically be a little long for that (i’m not sure) but the essence is there and very strong in some cases.
i like these. or this.
i’d have to review one line ku to really attempt it tho:
transition household unpacked boxes the edge of myth
aloha
Thanks Rick – they do unintentionally have a ku feel to the lines – I was using a type of rolling dactyl metre to give the hypnotic effect of the heat. ‘transition household unpacked boxes the edge of myth’ – hahaha – that’s very good and a bit too close to the truth – the move has gone pretty well, though we haven’t got most of our furniture yet and are sleeping on blow up mattresses on the floor – haha – but we love the place – feels like heaven 🙂
yeah, “rolling dactyl metre” —this is why i’m reluctant to claim the status “poet”. i have no idea what that means. yes, i can look it up. still. . . . ha.
yeah, i thought that one line ku attempt might ring bells in your now. just breathe and take one box at a time when you get to it. cool on a move that is going “pretty well”. yay for air mattresses on a floor. at least. and way cool on liking the place you are in that well. aloha.
Thanks Rick 🙂 A dactyl is the Dah dah dah rhythm where there is a heavy stress followed by two weaker stresses (or syllables sometimes) or long short short – like the sound of ‘Peter Pan’ or Samoa or Daddario (if your name is pronounced with the emphasis on the first Da). The rolling is my term – as a dactyl metre or other 3 syllable metres can give the effect of rolling like a wave or a slowing down of the sentence. A two syllable metre will make the words sound quicker – da da, da da, da da.
cool, yes, i see. Thank you for the explanation. That makes sense.
yeah, my name gets pronounced in different ways. sometimes the first Da is stressed. sometimes it’s the dar. it has 4 syllables tho. DA-ddar-i-o – or something like that. ha. heck if i know. da-DDAR-i-o
ha! Your name does have four syllables – haha – I missed that – but in poet world it has 3 stresses with the last o being a ‘feminine’ ending, so it doesn’t have to count in the counting – hahaha – aloha
By the way Rick, I rarely use metre systematically but thought I would for this particular poem – I usually focus on natural rhythm which I test by reading out loud. You are definitely a poet and a very good one – you are an aesthete which is a very good quality for a poet 🙂
yeah, i pay more attention to how it sounds (at least in my head but i pronounce things in my head—which is one of the reasons why i’m such a slow reader—it’s just the way i’ve had to do it so i can understand).
i get the idea of paying attention to metre—which makes a lot of sense to me too. it’s the way i speak that i listen to mostly, just as you say.
ha. i’ll take that “aesthetic” label. i like that. and okay, i’ll accept the poet label—because, yeah i want that one too.
thank you. you made my day with that “quality for a poet”. i suspect i may be a philosopher poet. . . . . what ever that is. ha. and bwahahahahaha. as well.
mahalo and aloha and joyous bells ringing on you, your family and the move. . . . . erm. . . . in a soft and gentle way that is. . . .
philosopher poet – yes, or zen poet (peace man 😉 hahahaha)
Gabrielle, if you think about it, the whole world is waiting – for what? – and holding its breath. Oooh, maybe there’s a poem for me…
Many people are waiting, but not everyone – some prefer to live in the moment (wish I could master that quality) 🙂
This is such a succinct picture of the disaster waiting to happen. I know from our Midlands how it only needs ‘that’ time of the year, a particularly dry spell, and just one foolish or malicious person, and the grass, bush, or forest fire will rage.
Thank you colonialist – yes, a certain arrangement of elements and the fire rages – scary stuff!