Fortnight of Funnies

tintin-et-cie by Benedicte Delachanal

This is my second poem published in Rhyme & PUNishment: Comedic Verse as discussed yesterday :). The wonderful cartoon above is from French speaking Canadian artist Benedicte Delachanal who blogs at Carnet De Dessins.

Cartoon Life

I want to live a cartoon life.

Things are clean and crispy white
in cartoon land.
Tintin’s dog Snowy,
Casper the friendly ghost
and Snoopy breathe in
the illustrators oxygen.

Strong clear black lines,
simple forms.
Dirt, unpleasant odours and itchy orifices are found elsewhere.

Swift resurrection follows bomb blasts,
bloody severed heads and ruptured spleens
no-where to be found.

Cartoon cats are squished, splayed, spliced and stretched
into emaciated bubble gum shapes,
but no worries – they quickly
spring, re-inflate and snap back into shape.

Scientific principles, gravity, speed and such like, are flexible.

Daffy Duck steps off the cliff
suspended in mid-air, until realising
the jam he’s in and plummets to safety.

Bugs Bunny is catapulted out of a cannon,
speed unchanging until telephone poles get involved.

Cowardly cartoon characters exit buildings
via replica perforations in the walls.
The threat of marriage often the motivation.

Solid walls painted to resemble a tunnel
can be entered by some but not others.
Flattened bodies of rodents, rabbits and coyotes
are testament to this variability of access.

But best of all, bags possessed by cool characters
have the ability to hold any amount of stuff
with no changes in external dimensions
of the bag – just like the TARDIS in Dr Who.

Yes, I want to live a cartoon life.


Don’t forget to send me some funnies (poems, art, photos, stories etc.,) this week or next if you are a regular follower and commenter on this blog (I do like to know who I am conversing with 😉 ).

Let the games begin!

30 thoughts on “Cartoon Life (for Fortnight of Funnies)

  1. I’m thinking the cartoon life away from Japanese anime and it’s resident cryo-stored cyborg battle-mech .. but then they’re anime and hard-pressed to be labelled cartoons. Your poem brought back all those great images of bendy power-lines and puffs of dust at the bottom of impossibly deep ravines … thanks 🙂

  2. I think a lot of people have beaten you to the idea of living as if they were cartoon characters! You know who I refer to… Bob ……, Tony ……, Barnaby …….. add as desired…… However, I did love those scenes you describe as I saw them as a child at the movies. Back then they were raving about Pig Iron Bob! Another cartoon character, so it is not new! I am trying to think of a character for you to become. I’ll get back to you when I think of someone appropriate.

  3. You two are such a good team. I hope that one day you and Benedicte will do a book together. It’d be a bestseller.

    I also want to live a cartoon life. Bugs Bunny is one of my heroes. I’d like to be his sidekick and torment Elmer Fudd while teaching Marvin the Martian a thing or two about interplanetary travel. And I’d like to run so fast my lower body would keep going into a blur. Love this poem!

  4. A fantastic collaboration. Benedicte’s cartoon is excellent.
    Love “plummets to safety” and “Dirt, unpleasant odours and itchy orifices are found elsewhere.” – yes please! Haha. And no ageing. 😀 Who would you ideally like to be, Gabe? I think I’d like to be Hobbes in ‘Calvin and Hobbes’.

    1. Well beside Road Runner I would like to be Tintin – a roving reporter who gets to travel all over the world and not have to do any actual ‘reporting’ ever – though Tintin is a bit goody two shoes for me – I’d also like to be Captain Haddock and swear, drink heaps and live in a huge mansion with a butler (and get to travel all over the world not doing any actual work – hahaha). Blistering Barnacles that would be the life for me (pass me the rum – ho, ho, ho, hum, Abbot is dumb and Gina is scum) 😉

    1. Yes, Barbar makes the picture I think 🙂 Thanks Kate – I wonder what cartoon you would be? Maybe Tintin as well – you would be a fantastic investigative journalist Kate with all that research you do for your blog posts.

    1. hehehe – ‘If anything happens to me, Sylvester, it’ll be too bad for you. You’ll be made into violin strings.’ 😉
      ‘I get wid of more putty tats dat way!’
      Thanks Stafford – Tweetie Pie it is!

  5. My cousin used to think that he could walk out in front of cars and bounce back up like Wile E. Coyote! That might be taking the Cartoon life one step too far!!! Love your work Gabe, G

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