Hello

Hello

and there you were,

soft, black haired baby with closed eyes, opening mine,
curled up lump of sweet smelling newness, sleeping miracle
swaddled to recreate the womb that you relinquished, sadly I am sure,
for what a perfect world in utero, with that heartbeat rhythm and maternal waltz,
we danced, you and me, and the dance will continue, in the fresh air of a new world,
spinning on its head, in an ungainly but glorious departure from what was, the sun sets
in the west, a dali-esque timepiece melts in the distance, but rising in the east,
a sunflower dazzle,

hello,

47 thoughts on “Hello

  1. Pingback: Thursday Poets Rally Week 45 (June 2-8, 2011) | Promising Poets' Poetry Cafe

    • Thanks squirrel – it’s been almost a year – I always think of him too when I see a stand alone ‘hello’ and was thinking of his fluid style when composing the two poems.

  2. There are a few things in life that blokes miss out on and giving birth is at the top of the list! This lovely poem expresses so well that special relationship fatheres can only share from a little way off. Bravo GB, mother and poet!

    • Thanks Stafford – pregnancy is a very special and strange thing, indeed πŸ™‚ (some women would prefer to skip that stage entirely I think – I was lucky that I had two uneventful and not too uncomfortabe pregnancies, otherwise I might agree with them ;)).

  3. I really feel this Gabrielle. And the title and first line work well – less cliche’ than ‘you had me at hello’ – and much more heartfelt.

  4. Will you stop making me cry, woman? OMG.
    Yes, this made me think of Paul too. All of a sudden as I was walking yesterday I thought of him. I don’t know why. My heart was tugged at. It just seemed so sad to think he really is gone.

    This poem struck a chord with me because Nick, my beautiful boy, is turning 15 next weekend and I remember that tiny little black-haired baby all beautiful and squidgy and precious who is gone now but still there in a much larger format.

    I hope that the dance will continue for a long, long time.

    I love this more than I can express….

    • This one is not supposed to make you cry Selma πŸ˜‰ – the other one is – haha – this is the antedote to goodbyes πŸ™‚ I know what you mean but – the time flies way to quick and each year they are needing us less (but that is the plan I guess – not that we have to like it that way). Say happy birthday to Nick from me for next week (15 is a big one).

  5. These two poems separately and then together are beautifully done, Gabrielle – and the image of “we danced, just you and me” is a such a delightful expression of joy

  6. I think this poem works in so many ways and has a wonderful all at once quality to it as though it was also “born.” Becoming a mom is such an amazing event in a woman’s life, or amazing beginning since the birth is just the first in a series of adventures. There ought to be a whole genre of birth poetry, but I suppose there hasn’t been until women started writing more. Anyway, this is fabulous. Some uses of the comma here make our much missed friend perhaps a godparent of this poem — I know he would have greatly enjoyed its music and its Dali clock.

    • Thanks for such a wonderful and thoughtful comment Aletha. I got many a rant from McPaulus about punctuation (remember the full-stop is like the crack of a gunshot – that is in one of his poems – forgot which one) so a comma is essential for this poem, given the story has just begun (that is when he was in e e cummings mode, which was a lot of the time – haha). There are anthologies of womens poetry (an Australian one was produced a couple of years ago) and there is a focus on mothering (along with many other things). I think a dedicated anthology (and there is probably one out there – haha) would be good.

  7. This is lovely Gabrielle.

    As others have suggested I very much liked your final hello and was reminded of Paul. But perhaps it was the final comma that felt even more like him.

    Wonderful on so many levels.

  8. cute baby,
    bless both the mother and the child.

    how are you?

    Check out poets rally week 45 today…
    Have fun!
    That’s the perfect way to showcase your talent, make poetic friends, and receive poetry awards and more….hope to see you in, blessings.

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