Goodbye

and then you were gone,

the moon twisted to unseen and dead beat stars gave up,
the earth cracked open and the doors to heaven slammed shut,
the wolf lost all hunger and sprawled in the darkness, surrendering
to nothingness, a great emptiness inside that spread from stomach to heart
to fingertips, strangely light, outstretched, reaching for one last touch, before the tears
wash away the past, for the weeping now, of sobs convulsing and shoulders trembling,
seized with the fractured space, that is the world without you,

goodbye,

26 thoughts on “Goodbye

  1. Wow… and wow again. This is exactly the way I like to deal with loss. I’ve received some criticism lately because of a review I posted on Overland which criticised the way a poet dealt with death, I described her metaphors as being flowery and then had to defend my position. Your poem is a perfect example of how to deal with this theme; it has strength in metaphor, anger in tone and sorrow in its heart. Wow again.

  2. gabrielle.
    that might be the most powerful poem i have ever read.
    awesome.
    i am otherwise speechless.
    xxx

  3. aloha Gabrielle – you have gotten at that empty nothingness that the change from life to the next stage can leave in those who remain in this life. sometimes i remember how i felt before a life changing event – and i’m amazed how i can not regain that feeling in the same way that it once was. i can remember it but not refeel it. i think your poem expresses this well.

    “the wolf losing hunger to sprawl in darkness” – yeah. like that. a loss that can not be retrieved. i like that line.

    1. Thanks Rick – I’ve been thinking about this a long time (with many different losses – not all death) – that bodily feeling that you get when in a state of shock and grief – it is good that we move on from that feeling to a different stage of grief.

  4. You have drawn the finality and emptiness so well here, Gabrielle and “seized with fractured space” expresses perfectly what is left behind as not being quite right ever again it – crying with this one, Gabrielle

    1. tears are good bb – I was thinking of Pablo Neruda’s line ‘tonight I can write the saddest lines’ and that got me thinking for a week, and this was the result πŸ™‚

  5. There is an anger, a sense of disbelief, sorrow and the stillness that comes with loss captured within this exquisitely worded poem. This is what I feel when I grieve. Exactly. The sense of emptiness has a vastness to it that is created perfectly with your grand, almost apocalyptic images such as the wolf sprawling in the darkness.

    But for me the most powerful image is the first line – ‘And then you were gone.’ That line says it all. There is such sadness in it. I am blown away by it.

    You can write, woman. A big high five to you!!

    1. Haha – high five back at you Selma – that’s a wonderful comment and sums up the feeling for me too – thanks πŸ™‚ That wolf keeps following me around – I was thinking about a ferocious hungry wolf and how, to be the opposite (no hunger and still) is the reversal of world order (which is what happens when grief strikes) – hopefully La Loba is somewhere close to give life back to the wolf πŸ˜‰

  6. very strong Gabe.
    as said above me, this subject is as hard to deal with in poetic way as love, without becoming too corny, and you have done a strong work.

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