Timing

Timing

His inebriated reverie
featured a change in fortune,
a magical
pivot
materialising, in the nick of time,
as he teetered on the edge.

He had visions of narcan for an overdosed lifestyle,
something to snap himself back from the effects
of a depressed, nervous system.

An apparition,
an angelic stranger, providing resuscitation.
Chest compressions sparking a cracked heart,
warm breath of someone else’s life
galvanizing his lungs for another go,

but the light in his eyes was skeletal,
and his timing was out.

His time had run out.

29 thoughts on “Timing

  1. This one leaves me contemplative. Is it a tragedy or a mercy? It’s hard to say, a tragedy perhaps for the person trying so hard to keep the protag in this world, but the protag seemed to have been looking for a way out, though maybe not one so permanent. Beautifully written as usual.

    • It wasn’t meant as a mercy – he has no idea that this time he’ll pop over that edge – that’s the thing about risk takers, always going as close to the edge as possible, thinking it won’t happen to them. Thanks for your comment Storm Dweller.

    • Thanks Graham – I try not to judge, as a general rule. I think this poem still needs a bit of work – my metaphor is a bit too close to the subject matter – not sure if that is a good idea – will ponder further πŸ™‚

  2. Concise – capturing that moment so well. I really like it. I often wonder what people would do without alcohol or drugs in this world trying to alter their reality.

    • Most humans need something to alter their reality – if it’s not alcohol and drugs, it is something else πŸ™‚ I’ve just reread my poem and realised that it could read as someone having an overdose, and that was not my intent (not that it matters as the meaning belongs to the reader) – this is why my metaphor is too close to the narrative (I’m just talking to myself Jane – don’t mind me).

  3. It is still good – for this reader, I was reading it & thinking how apt for so many different soul destoyers. The things that can sap the life out of one e.g. TV, facebook, gambling , trashy magazines, the list goes on. Another life gone. I did not mind it had indicted alcohol as the protagonist, as it is all in the interpretation.

  4. UPDATE

    Time’s just a belief
    In the eyes of the wind
    Whose smile enlightens the dusk

    Follow me say the words
    Until you reach
    The end of this world

    Only desire
    In this charm of mine
    Like a curse of your own
    Who’d like to be blown

  5. Drugs are such a terrible scourge – how do you get through to a young person that they can change the brain irretrievably and snuff out their life in an instant? The magical thinking of youth creates both wonders and tragedies, never learning from the mistakes of others.

    • It’s true bluebee – I lost a number of friends from their youthful and alcohol/drug related stupidity in this area (falls, car and motor bike accidents, accidental hanging etc.). The fact is you can’t get through to young people with ‘information’ as a general rule – that’s why public education and health promotion campaigns are most of the time a waste of money. Often these people have a risk taker type personality. If you want to make changes you have to do a range of things but changing the societies attitude to the problem would be a good start – our society accepts drug use at all level – and you need to start changing attitudes at a very young age and have good role models (which takes us back to the adults again). You’ve got me started now – haha (I worked in the alcohol and drug area for over 10 years).

  6. I also like that you don’t judge – so many do when it comes to subjects like these. The lack of judgement makes the poem much more powerful. My uncle has been an alcoholic for most of his life and this really hit home for me. My cousin died of a heroin addiction. It is hard to watch someone destroy themselves in that way. Those who watch in the wings are powerless to a certain extent.

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