The deluded optimist

The deluded optimist was drinking from a glass half full, while dispensing unwanted advice from a half-baked motivational book, written by another deluded optimist who stated that ‘you cannot analyse love, it just is’ with patronising voice, while another deluded optimist turned off the T.V while proclaiming ‘there’s too much bad news on the telly’ like it’s just on the telly, while another deluded optimist sucked down a fowl tasting placebo from the placebo shop and stated ‘it must be good for you if it tastes this bad’

deep breath

some other deluded optimists were heard to say things like

the seas can’t rise and the temperature has always been variable
she’ll be right mate
I’m sure there’s an explanation for the bruises, we don’t want to upset the parents
we’ll love each other forever
he just drinks this much when going through a bad patch, it’s been that sort of year
I know he killed the cat but he must have had a good reason
Father O’Riley would never do that!
we have too much legislation, companies will do the right thing
he’s been brought up well, good kids don’t do drugs
you can’t go to jail if you’re not guilty
my grandfather smoked ’till he was 90, never did him no harm


she smiled at me with that yellow sunflower type of smile that makes you want to vomit and said ‘I’m a glass half-full kinda person’.

‘Yeah, I wouldn’t drink that shit if I was you,’ said the pessimist in me.