by faint noise
thud, thud, thud
sweet smell of old books, timber
presses into awareness
an unfamiliar surface
detains my back
my shoulder is numb
I need to lie on my side
I’ve been in this position too long
so hard to move
silhouettes are yet to make an
appearance in this black darkness
I will move
just need to wake up a bit.
such a shame
I’m surprised about the cremation
thought Catholics preferred burials.
20 thoughts on “If Only”
Inspired slightly by the 1988 Dutch movie ‘Spoorloos’ otherwise known as ‘The Vanishing’. Don’t bother with the American remake.
i love that heavy feeling you get from the first part..the half awake half asleep transition..nice
Gabrielle, have I cracked your code? It took me a few reads, but I see you in a coffin, waking and about to be cremated? Omigod!
You have won the prize Stafford – and if I’d been buried I would have had enough time to wake up properly and let someone know. It might be a bit obscure this one.
Fabulous – it arouses all those fears in those afraid of being buried alive. Now a new fear – fried into the ever-after.
Ha,ha,ha,Ha! I am yet to meet the person who does not fear being buried alive (being burnt alive – well we won’t even mention that!). Big hugs for you Jane.
This really has a claustrophobic feel… sends a shiver down the spine.
I’m glad you felt that way Graham.
yeah, it really gets a new tone with the ending – pt1 it could be just struggling to the surface after sleep, but pt2 just totally shifts everything!
thanks Ashley – I like a twist.
The ‘sweet smell of old books’ – that’s the clincher right there because who doesn’t love the smell of old books? But to smell them in a coffin. Wow. Talk about packing a punch. I love this Gothic side to you, Gabrielle!
Thanks Selma – part of the smell is the cardboard inside the coffin (which is used for cremation) – I’ve just been doing a bit of research on coffins – ha,ha. Gothic side – that was me in my angst ridden younger years (think all black, emo type thing – except the hair). Actually I did dye my hair black once but it went an Irish Moss green – not a good look – but I couldn’t be bothered fixing it so left it that way. Now I love all things colour (red, pink).
I read this and find it so beautiful. I am lost somewhat in reading poetry — as you were saying about pictures — but there is something mysterious and amazing in these words and images.
Believe it or not, I am lost reading a lot of poetry as well. I think this one came from my unconscious so there is more to it than even I realise – maybe I better not find out (after all that is why these things are unconscious).
Oh yeah, G – send this one out. It deserves to find a home. I’m with those above – “sweet smell of old books” is fantastic.
Thanks Bryan – it does give you a false sense of security that sweet smell of the familiar.
Definitely creates a real feeling of presence, Gabrielle. I didn’t feel Graham’s claustrophobia though. More like a relaxing into the situation after an initial stage of confusion.
That’s pretty much what I was after. Thanks Brad.