–
Reality Check
Ever wanted to snuggle into fluffy white cumulus clouds?
stop dreaming
it’s bloody wet
cold
you’ll fall straight through
u
n
s
u
p
p
o
r
t
e
d
–
Reality Check
Ever wanted to snuggle into fluffy white cumulus clouds?
stop dreaming
it’s bloody wet
cold
you’ll fall straight through
u
n
s
u
p
p
o
r
t
e
d
Gabe Feathers McGee 
My 7yo daughter has told me I must get rid of the swear word (yes, she’s at that age).
Reality so often spoils our imaginings.
Yes it does Carolyn, more’s the pity.
No you won’t.
You’ve given me an idea. boing! boing!
Paul was faster, I was going to say
No I won’t!
Great new look for your blog!
I see I’m not the only fantasist in the blogosphere (not surprises there). It is interesting the subtle difference between ‘no you won’t’ and ‘no I won’t’.
Perhaps the stratus clouds, then?
Ha,ha,ha,ha – another dreamer I see!
My had is eternally in he clouds Gabe and dreamers have a habit of being able to land on their feet.
I think you are probably right Graham – here’s to the dreamers!
In my dreams I never fall through. I am a spirit of the air frolicking with the clouds. I really liked this one, Gabrielle.
I’m going to do it one day – sleep in a cloud. If there is enough belief – it will happen.
The image and words (and letters!) make a very powerful impact.
This one just popped into my head from nowhere (except I have always wanted to sleep in a cloud). Thanks Aletha.
The vice pressing against my ears would probably keep my dangling up there.
Wow, that’s a visual headache for you.
Beautiful — words and structure, working together for an ethereal journey. 🙂
Thanks Tl – gotta love an ‘ethereal journey’
Lovely, Gabrielle! Always happy to see poets playing with space and form. It’s rainy and dark here. You took me to a different kind of sky. 🙂
Thanks Bryan – it was fun (and it is rainy and dark here too).
By the way, I agree with your 7 year old daughter, the poem works even better without the word ‘bloody’. It focusses more on the last
thought, making the point of the o=poem more strongly.
Thanks Carolyn. I will muck about with it – you might be right. The problem is the ‘you’ll fall straight though’ looks too flat in comparison. The other problem is with this blog theme – it is a bit too narrow and that is why the first line has the ‘clouds’ on the second line. I will ponder some more.
What about ‘you’ll ‘plummet’ straight through’ ? It’s a much stronger verb than ‘fall’, more impact.
I actually like the word fall – has the sound that you would make as you go down and I like the shape of the letters like falling with your arms up over your head. When I say it in my head it is like faaaaaaaaallll. If you know what I mean. But thank you for the ideas. I do like plummet to but not for this one.
Good point – maybe if you wrote the word as you did in your comment ‘faaaaaallll’ again, it would give that more strength
Yes, that’s not a bad idea. Thanks Carolyn.