Lewd Limericks from Stafford (for Fortnight of Funnies)

Larss Drinks

I oft shared a bottle with Larss;
Who sipped with decorum and class.
But once in the bistro
Was totally pissed, so
He finished up flat on his arse!

Wine Lovers

Two pickers of fruit to make wine,
Their young hearts began to entwine.
Went frequently missing
For cuddling and kissing,
And more, hidden under a vine!

Truth Hurts

‘In vino veritas’ states
You drink and confess your lewd traits.
But heed this dire warning,
That maybe next morning
You’ll find you have lost all your mates!

Nightcap

There once was a fellow named Fred
Who took half a dozen to bed.
His wife’s main objection
Was lack of erection
So now poor Fred sleeps in the shed!

_____________________________________________________

Stafford Ray has kindly sent some of his famous limericks for my Fortnight of Funnies. If you follow his blog, you will know that Stafford has an outrageous sense of humour and a penchant for the limerick ;)

Thanks Staffo :)

_____________________________________________________

Don’t forget you can join in the fortnight of funnies by emailing me a funny (poems, art, photos, stories etc.,) this week or next if you are a regular follower and commenter on this blog.

24 thoughts on “Lewd Limericks from Stafford (for Fortnight of Funnies)

    • hahaha – Ibeen there, done that bb – didn’t just limit myself to words when I was on the turps ;) my behaviour was sometimes less than impeccable – haha #thosewerethedaysmyfriend

  1. What GB failed to mention, is that those limericks were serious contributions to a competition that invited poets to offer poems to put onto wine bottle labels. I am still awaiting a response! Do they have no appreciation of the finer things of life???

  2. I have often suspected that Stafford is the love child of Spike Milligan and Pam Ayres. Now I know it to be true. LOLZ. LMAO. ROFL.

    Every limerick is an absolute treat. Stafford is the awesome sauce. *chortle*

  3. Pingback: The Best Medicine « beeblu blog

    • Limericks were the poems that made the biggest impression on me when I was a kid – Dad had a copy of the Penguin Book of Limericks (or something like that) and we loved the rude ones – haha. Thanks Graham.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s